Pressured

The light increase
The emotions decrease
Chest tears
Short breath
Too much stressed say my doc'

I feel today pressured
I want to let flow this anger
Due to contrarieties

I feel discomfort
I don't know how to say
It is uselessness
Which ever knock at my door

I have had to let go some friends
Some dreams some idialistic thoughts

I feel dying inside
I hope I can hold on one more year
In the chaos of myself

Dark outside
Don't mean you are depressed all time

I just want a solution asap
I am tired and nerdy to wait
So black cloth let me be comfortable
And quiet

I am serendipitious

Serendipity
Words I didn't know till I realize it is my way of thinking!

Routine

I am in a routine. I dunno how to break it life don't give me opportunities so I do my best. I am in a way where I can wait surprise...I just meet new and old friends recently. I was knocked by the life but I faced it several times so one more time...becoming usual by me.

At that time I just feel sad ...I want to let everything go...or finding my way because for instance :-\ I need to find balance to go ahead...

I am only in smog ...what to do or what project could I do...maybe tired tired to remember my dreams my goals I want to set me free of my bad ideas about myself this useless feelings I want to find my happiness...I want to meet wonderful people...

asking why

Asking why
Without ending

Feel stress but get a smile
To hide everything

Asking why
Time goes so slow
Why I feel too empty

Asking why
I am at home this winter
And not abroad

Asking why I am bored
Even I try to get a full schedule

And why I ask why

dark mind again

Shall I count to someone?
Shall I hope in vain?
Shall I weep ?

My mind is full of my fears
The deepest
The strongest

I am bad
I am dark
But I am me
Hypersensitive

My words flows
My thoughts are ignored

I try to stop all
Saying I don't thave to think so
But it is hard to be backward

Christmas crowd

Walking in this Christmas Crowd
Feel surrounded by people
Feel the move
Feel the smile
Feel the happiness
To be none
Lost

Walking in the Christmas Crowd
In a ocean of nothing
No personality
No self
No thing

Only me in a crowd during a Christmas Saturday
In my town

What you will leave me!

There are things we don't forget
It is memories when some storms come info life

Friends are moving
I have to remember that
Friends are living
It is ever so as far as I remember
I was joyful to know you
But as all my friends you move abroad

I will cherish the memories you will let me
Craziness smile help to people
Your sacrifice's spirit

And the gift you gave me
Your friendship


Safe flight home Lyn...see you next year if god wants!

Fight

Let it fly
Fly to the sky
Forget
Fight

What happens will make you stronger
Let your mind be in peace
Let bad dreams away

Smile
Hope

Let your reality be your fight
Everything has an end

Don't think about death
Otherwise you will be sad

Let your journey go where it has to go
Be patient
Nothing isn't endless

Maybe you will wait for something greater
Maybe you don't imagine that right now

Be only yourself
And the rest will come

I write this day with that superb opening soundtrack from elizabeth the golden age strings emphasize very movement of this master piece enjoy!

Bad feelings

I can't breath either beeing quiet
I feel me weird
I hope I try to smile
But I only want to cry
My stomachpain increase

I try to travel
In such peaceful place
I use to imagine
A place near the sea
A place without stress or bad time
A place where all can be possible
And different of now

No I just dream
Here now it isn't possible
I get bitterness inside me
A crazy feeling of beeing not valuable

I just cry why?

Coping with anxiety

Two huge black hands destroy my chest
Is what I feel when I am too anxious
My short breath ring inside me
I feel unquiet and I only get tears
I think about death

I feel like having no place in this world
Next year I don't know what I will do
I want to say it
To say it loudly in a crowd
To say that I am fighting

People say I have the will to do things
People say they love me
But I am sure of anything
I just sight right now

I dream to be abroad
To live my life as a single woman
I hope not feeling useless too much time
I that drive me crazy
If I have to grave my dreams
That is why I am so sad

A real friend

I will miss this friend
Of the other corner of the world
It is like a real loss

We don't speak the same l language
But we communicate with our heart
A eye check
A smile
A real complicity
A bound

She was there only for a few time
Mid December she'll be back home

I think why Suriname is far of Europe
Why should I already let go my new friend
But nothing is really lost
It is just an habit

I really need a shoulder
I really need a friend
To hold on
Right by my side

Having good friends

I am refresh when my friends smile and share with me
Deep inside I feel real comfort
I hope more strongly

That refresh me to see them happy
Even I know there are faraway from me
I realize how my simple life is wealthy

I rejoice in the lord to live on these earth
Even sometimes I am struggling

Thank you God to give me such thing !

Questionning

Dark ocean
Blue tears

Letting go the sadness in fond of my heart

Painting the white canevas
Of colorful thinking
But

Why ow why my heart are you too heavy?
Why I feel alone in the crowd?
Why should have been so?
Why feel I deep inside me hell thinking back?

I want to stop everything
But these thoughts come back
Insisted
Ring at the door

Ow why god am I so sensitive?
Why think I to death while I love and live my life?
Why that weird feelings are back yet?

I will ever fight
Till a rainbow come
Till my tears dry up
Life goes on

...

It is like ache
Painful
Its hurt like chaire cut
Its hurt like crazy

I feel it deep inside me
It is like a hurt
A scare which not heald

Even words can't explain what I feel
At that time I want to be somewhere else
But I can't
I let some going
I hope just they won't forget me

Romantic hope

The dawn is beautiful
Like my melancholia
The ruins behind me
Let me feel free

I search a place
Where I used to be
To comfort my painful heart

I see the see
Not fairway
The quiet trees
On the cemetery

I find peace some hours
Will it ever be so?
My heart is heavy
Like a grey stone
My hands are cold
I feel me small and useless
I want to die
But something don't let me do this
It is HOPE

Walking near the river

(Here is what I call love song. Love lead people to death. It is only a creation ok!)

I walk near the river
Thinking of you
I never told you
I loved you
Now you are gone

I walk near the river
And see my fears
Beeing reality

I'm gone to the river
People will cry and weep
You let me such bitter feeling
To be nothing

At that beautiful morning
A walker found me dead
Your heart remember me well
But I have ceased to live

Praying

Praying you
Is curing my soul
I feel understanding
And answer when I need
O Jah

You see my heart my feelings
I know you can't let me go such thing
It is only my heart which suffer too much
I am sinner a simple human living in a weaked world
Save me from my bad feelings help me to not let them deep inside me

Let me be secure with you
Let me rejoice in you
Let me find my way to happiness
Let me forget bad things that used to be in the past
Erase from my heart all my worries
And let me go far from what I expect

Bad time again

No words
Weirds feelings
Just lost in the midst of nowhere
Loosing all my dreams

Dark is my heart
When it is fate and pride to say
I am alright with smile

Stop me before I go sofar
Don't fear what I say

Its just a weird time
Where sensitivity explode
Where I feel Not real myself
I am only in a nightmare

Daily violence

I heard him crying through the walls
It was after his woman
Some weeks ago I already heard him yelling
But this time that was worse
He probably beat her

I saw her in the entrance one day
So sad and really thin
Like I never saw her before
I was also feelings the violence of his words
And thought about his small daughter

I only hear daily violence
But that beat me
Some say its just words
Sometimes words do worse than a punch
I felt sad to her
I saw her much happier single as now
I hope it can cease to her

This is what I live today from my flat I hear yelling from the first floor my neighbours... I UNDERSTAND THE NIGHTMARRE some women live daily!

Talented

Talented you said

Ow no my dear friend I am not
I try to find balance in writing my thoughts

Talented mean nothing without work and pleasure
Writing slowly enlarge myself
I now use English
I didn't do that before

Talent come from creativity and openmind soul
Nothing more
Nothing less

Talented
Isn't a word I use often
Because I prefer to stay humble

at a crossing

At a crossing I met my friends
I was crying
I used to say that I felt useless

At a crossing during my journey
I met wonderful people
Who are ever connected with me

When I felt alone I met someone new
My world are enlarge by the experience of the others
My thoughts are different
I get satisfaction to be one citizen of this earth
I welcome your difference easily
And want to see your qualities
Dear friend
You are the next one to cross my road
I thanks god everyday to take care of me
As He take care of you



To my Surinamese friend M. ♥

My journey

Sky in September 2013, France

I walk in between
Joy and sadness
I cross the road of marvelous people
I use word to express myself
I don't feel a kind of poet
I only be me
I hope dream believe
I pray god
I feel without saying
I am sensitive
And try to accept it myself as a gift

In these journey that is life
I felt emptiness that I couldn't say
My body said stop
I use to let go my beloved one
My grandmas
My dreams
But I survive with the courage
To only follow the way of this journey
Which began 26 year ago

My peace

Soften peace
Hearing pavane from Fauré
Just get the envy to paint
Remember him...
Thinking of  better days
Hoping of good things appearing
Reading a good book
Enjoy a good great tea cup
That is the way to feel peace
My peace

Call after peace

I call her in the dark
Where are you?
Where are you?
No answer

I find peace
Of mind
Of thoughts
Peace only peace

Iam in the dark
Waiting something better
Hoping something new

I call peace
Peace of joy
Peace of living a happily life

I call her in the dark
Where are you?
Where are you?
No answer yet maybe later

circles

Get tears  on my eyes
Tired of nothing
Hidding me under smile
Telling the truth to my friends
Some are fearing
Some are understanding

My feelings are so deep
That I get tears which seems like circles

I freely express myself
But sometimes it so hard to explain
In another way
I just say help me by hard words

Just hear please my voice
Surrounded by my words
Wrote in here




I beg pardon to some friends I didn't meant to die it is only my way to call to get help

Dark reality

I wanna die because I feel useless
You can't understand what I feel deep inside
I feel emptiness and uselessness
None comforted me

I dream to be in a landscape
Painted by C. Friedrich
Surrounded by ruins near a cimetery and Forrest
In a blue dress as in the 19th century
Somehow a romantic place
To let my sorrows flying in the air
To find a kind of peace

But that doesn't exists
In these dark reality

It is not good to dream too much

cotton ball

I feel like in a cotton ball
I hope to find peace in the arm of Art
It help me to go through deep pains
I try to do the same now
When the life stuck
Only art give  me  the feelings of being useful
To someone somewhere

I let fly my words and colors
Maybe in your turn you will find your inner peace
Strength to go ahead
To move mountains

Let you go in the cotton ball of Art
In your turn

I am lost

Where are you?

Me ?

Yeap you

Search till you find me!

....love

So I am afraid of being loved by someone else only him ...was my vibration...
I don't feel my heart beat as if were here by my side now he is married I can't fight this fact...she replace me ...she is his best friend...
I am sincere he was my love the one who will come just habe Nervs and the gold way to persuede me he is the right one

Romantic heart

Horizon

Futur

Sounds different

The life is what it is

Only endure...

Do you see the darkness of my heart?

Am I stupid to share it with you?

Like the painting of the romantic man

Are my words...

Maybe you cannot understand

What that mean to me

Its my best weapons to not give up

I understood that fully before

My life went worse several times

Words were by my side

Maybe you can't understand

What I express and I don't ask you to do that

Only don't judge me

Little you

...do it like 

You never did before

Staying in peace while the life goes on

Never interprets things

Only surf the wave

Be honest and true

Try to say what you have to say

Care about your scares gently

Find your energy back to get new projects

Only be the little you

You have weight

You are someone great

Be sure it is so!

My aunty susie

She is ever here to me
Like a blessing from heaven
She is a pretty lady

She gave me so much care
And pay attention at me
Through age and nationality
We have similar interests
Languages travel spirituality

She is like my real aunty
We met in winter 2009
I just remember that her peaceful blue eyes
Looked at me with a huge smile
And how she naturally spoke with me in French

We went through hardships
Each others even faraway
-Almost 700 kilometers-
She got a brockenheart
We got the same feelings

She want to get my dark eyes
As I love her blue eyes
I want her peacefullness
Her courage
Her faith
Her smile

At that time I miss her


Ich werde Tapfer sein Tante Susie!! Du hat mir ermutigt!

Saying the truth

Every people say that in bad situations we are able to go through.
Maybe I am attaining what we call own limits.
I try to find balance and happiness
What a hard matter

I try to c omfort me
I try to encourage me

 Nothing can erase my bad feelings

 I am like a zombie
A shadowshadow
None else to help me as myself

I just hang on reading some quotes like this one

To let go

In the Mountains
The noise of anger and pain are gone
Fly over the sky
Till God catch it
 I imagine His huge hands
Taking my Sorrows
Searching to quiet my heart
He saw my tears
He know what I feel
In every prayers I told him all that I feel extremely tired
None can hear me like him
He understand my complexity
I found peace in His arms
When no human could understand me
I feel alone behind my fights
I felt I was nothing
The only thing I can do
Is to find peace and smile
Get my head up
Behind the life's hardships
By helping people to make their life happier

In my heart

In my heart there are
Doubt's
Tiredness
Anxiousness

In my heart
There are feelings of weakness
And of ineffectiveness

In my heart
There are bad and dark things
I forgot what it was to be so sad
Unhappy

All get a price!

I used to walk under sun after rains shower

It was warm and delightful

Creation is here to remember 

That god is almighty 

And strenghed us with small thing like a river or a sunrise

Catching all this gave me the power to sleep well

And to enjoy life :-) 

All I need now is to fight one more time!

El ritmo latino

Just discover what is cumbia andina with this groupe chicha libre! I can say that till my tender age I used to hear some andin groups and love specially the music even my spanish is not good.
The lyrics I choose are those of el borrachito its a story of a man in love and alone he drink too much because is suffer too much.

El borrachito

Paso mis días triste y borracho 
Pensando solo en ti 

Sé que tu ya no me quieres 
Chica, chica presumida 

Trato de olvidarte y no consigo 
Por eso es que me tomo todo el vino, 
Quisiera olvidarte quisiera olvidarte 
Por eso es que vivo en la cantina 

CORO: 

Borracho, borrachito 
Paso mis días solito 
Borracho, borrachito 
Tomando vino tomando vino

Its the whole album but what a delicious one :) I enjoyed it till the end.

Cumbia+ l'été indien+reprise de Joe Dassin = un délice ahhhh :D et en français :D :D

Believe 1000 time

I just remember
Last time you told me
BELIEVE

I tried to do so
I will try ever
Just to find a real purpose in my life

The time
Is coming to be real adult
Believing with maturity
Believing with reality

What I have done
I regret nothing
Only want to do in a whole
No regrets

Just finding a new way
While you are in the dark
While you are in the dark

I just feel angiousness
Tireness
Only want to give up sometimes
I am not so strong as I can appear
I am human who want to stop to believe

All my friends are away
I have the feelings all goes wrong
But in real it isn't

I say to myself
Believe 1000 time
If you find it necessary
Never give up
Only change your way

Power

Power
To not take a game over
Power
To stop anger

Power
To get peace

Power
To get voice
To get self-esteem

Power
To give the best

Power
To remember

Power
To not beeing blackminded so long

Power
To believe even life is hard

Power
To be weak
To be strong at the same time

Power
Power
Nicht mehr Sauer
Nicht mehr Sauer

Aber nur Stolz auf was war schon gemacht

Surrender

Surrender

Only care about yourself
Remember life has good and bad times

Surrender
Saying I have done what I could
Saying I have enough courage to get through hardship
What make me weak make me stronger

Surrender
Wishing to have others things to create
Wishing to help people as you can

Surrender
To get peace of mind
To get reliance
Even you get now tears

Surrender
Is maybe the best way to feel humble
To give priority to other things
To operate changes
To find new views

Nor to fight

One more time
I realize that I will fight
To finish my studies
To Begin a new year
To Having fun

One more time
Is my question
Why to fight?
What is a purpose of what I did before?

As my mum just said me this evening
All what you learn is usefull
All what you've done as a meaning

But I don't see the meaning
Not anymore
Only bad news fighting and bad news ever and ever
And the feeling that won't hold on a longtime

My only strengh is my creativity
My arts my words
It let me expect more of the life

I want to wish more but...
Wishing more will probably let me down
I want to go through hardship
Even if that mean probably beeing in a routine

I will ever have my words
I will ever have the colors...
I will ever have the quiet time with all that

Maybe I seach too much things
And maybe the greatest
Life never let you do the best choice
But only more or less the one you can support

Blanking...and??

I ignore what will happen
What I know is
The life goes
And if I don't catch the quiet moments
I will die too early

I spend time to write
Like a deep breath
In some moments I refused to write
Hards things can't be said with words
I hurted myself to do so

Sometimes I got blank
But that was solve more or less

Love was my first source of inspiration
Life give me lessons
Family gave me power to be optimist

My life
I want to live it fully
Without regrets
With poetry
With feelings

Even it can't be hard


Answer to http://melodiesinthesand.blogspot.com

Reflection

Today I feel quiet
No stress only a kind of excitation
I feel my life going in a better way
I feel deep breathing give me power
I almost travel in the way of my dreams

Some teachers told me I have had to believe
In hard time in my life
My close desire is coming true
I want also to be one

If she can be there by my side
She could be proud of me

Let the past there and go ahead tell me a small voice in my hears
Maybe all my life is just a battle but I often win
That why I call myself warrior
Warrior never loose only go through the hardships
Tell that not all time all will be wrong

just to you my dear friends

I read that in Spanish and find that poem beautiful I wanted to share it with you. Its dedicate to someone special my best friend who is currently based in Berlin and also to you (if you can understand Spanish)

http://www.poemas-del-alma.com/creo-en-ti-amigo.htm

Creo en ti mi pequeñita hermana mi manca muchooooooo creo en ti en tu forzza y cualidades. Te veo en Berlin cuando puedo besitooooo!!!

My world collapsed

My world collapsed

But I am alive

I try to care about little things to warm up my heart

Only for a change

I want to be a good warrior but I am weak

My world collapsed

And Let me really upset

And that remind me the time where I was a teen

Through hardship my friends were here to me

Now there are somewhere else making their life

I have the feelings my life step up

A friend told me I was a woman a real young woman

I was surprised he told me so as he knew my life let me stucking on a corner

Love don't come working no on my studies 

Alone yep but that don't mean I have no values

My friends miss me my life get wrong and I doubt 

My world collapsed 

And my heart let me be sad

If I ever heard it I couldn't be here anymore

I think you readers can understand what I say

Because everyone get hardship in life

Colors and feelings

Hope is blue like the dreams spread in the sky
Doubt is dark like the sadness that sourround sometimes the heart
Love is red like the roses to saint-valentin's day
Joy is yellow like the light of the sun
Green is the way when there is serenity
White is like the tissue you use to dry your tears

All feelings have color to each one
Who possess the way to make some poetry

Thoughts

Nothing else to do just let the life lead you where there are opportunities. Keep smiling stop dreaming let the routine surround you. Taking time to reflect to accept the reality as it is. Turn your back to the things you loved even that means to get a strong reliance. Not fight anymore, nothing else, no play, no dreams, nothing...

Only you walking on the borders river of the Loire in a kind of smog...smog in our mind and the feelings you have no will anymore. You have called ...maybe in the desert ....because you have no perspectives. You try to turn up the light...is that what you want dear me? Is thtat what you really want? All is messed up now...hard to get self reliance...maybe you reader can understand what I mean...or?

Now my body say yes you get reliance to such things....only by getting tears. God create it to help us to express what we can't express with words. I only fight against depression it is probably depression I think we have in life almost once that feelings deep feelings to get no values in some situations...I can't tell you why maybe because I feel me so disgusting and search solutions which aren't in reality...even I am courageous sometimes I feel life hope from me too much as I can give...in time strengh ...

Maybe you think reading me...that I am crazy to think so but facing the reality its is too hard without help...real help maybe the only one who can help me is up invisible and observe me suffering...and always answer me..!! So he will...doing it for sure....only  to that I can believe getting faith....

I only play a master piece

I feel dying inside
Outside i try To shine
I weep silently
I haven't enough strengh to fight

I play a great peace
Where all is fake
I am only small weak and not self confident

My feelings are so deep that I can't eat
Behind my smile and jokes aren't the real me
Deeply sad maybe depressive
Full of dark kohl on my eyes
I am turning back to my teens age
Where I was shut and tormented
Only on black clothes...
Romantic piece which come back ten year later

Fucking me my real fucking me is back ow god fuck!!

Hoping better

(This german postcard say in love and dreams nothing impossible... :-) )

Dancing alone
A red wine glass nearby
Remembering the past
When I loved you

I miss that heart bit
My short breath
The desire to see you

The bossa lead me
In the soft clouds of love
That let me hope
To find the only one who can replace you

My life with will be colored in red
My sky will be blue
The life will be different as dark
And I am sure to get smile

Travellers never fear

Travelers never fear

But I do

I fear to loose someone
To loose a friend
To loose someone I love

I love to discover things
Lands regions
But in fond of me
My inner voice isn't quiete

The last time I went abroad
Someone where dying
I just gathered all my courage
To fulfill my dream

Life isn't fair

Now I feel not confident at all
Doubts invade me
Am I a good grand daughter
Could she be proud of me?

I miss their care and tenderness
They were my roots
My support
Now I feel alone


I am a traveler
Who fear!

I wait and wait;
Where are you my soulmate
Where are your comfort when I cry
I wish I can find you there
But I am not sure
Only god know who you are
And where you live
What is your language

I just feel wandering
On my way
My heart feel free
And alone

I have faith to find you
And people tell me love can be hard
But I just wanna try

....

I want to stop time
And getting tears
I can't come back there
My wounds are not heal
I remember too much
And I can't forget when you told me
I was pretty while you were dying
I left you saying to mum
That I would grabe you during my trip
All was becoming true
And the shock was deeper
Nor now I can feel the real pain of your loss
The crazy and harsh feeling I want to be with you
Dead in a peaceful place with grandad
To remember how I felt crazy in my return home
How I was angry and devastated
How I was was aggressive
How I have express my bidding feelings
Like a volcano
like Jekill and mister Hide

I won't joke like this anymore
I swear you

Walking along a  beach

Taking a deep breath;

Get a smile 

All negative things are away

I feel free

Doubts and harsh feelings

I know I am powerful with my word
I just express my hate
I just guess why I trust people too much

It's a hard thing to be loyal
When people are not

I feel that I can trust anyone
And beeing a good friend....
But maybe I am a real one
I'm must lost

Thinking to a friend

I remember the time past with you
And I know you go your way
People do what they do its their choices
But losing you was the bad things I live right now

I found in you a trusted friend
And that will remain the same if you come back

I am certain of my believes
But I won't blame you
All we can make mistake

Nor darker than before....

Deepest dark mind
Blowing friendship

And the feeling to be guilty
Hard to fight when a friend isn't anymore by your side
Only wandering thoughts
And the bitter feellings you are not a good friend

Even though the life goes on
But having dark pain in your heart ....
Just saying why?

Hard to let a friend go!

It is hard to let you go...my friend
I take this way
You take the other way

I don't want to leave you
But you have done your choice
I've done mine

It is hard to loose you like this
I understand that you felt alone

I understand that I wasn't a good friend
I couldn't hear you too busy

I won't juge you
Only saying my pain to see
You going away

Soften Pains

Soften Pains
When people are giving up their dreams
When they get tears or fears
Good friend come to give you one hand
Or just hear you

Soften Pains
When you pray God to give you the patience
And the power to go ahead

Soften Pains
When you try to smile
When you try to feel comfort in life
While you think its over

Soften Pains
When you give without waiting something in return
When you get smile of a friend
When you ...begin to feel better

Don't come around me

I don't care
I don't care

What you feel to me
Is not what I want
I consider you as friend
Not as lover

Could you understand me?
Could you let me make my life alone?

Its not because we have the same age
Some interests in common
That we are made to eachothers

I can't telling you
I feel like your object

How you behave
With me
Make me mad...

I just want you to understand...
That I am not to you!

How I come back to life....

When I felt bad...
When I believed I was already dead...
I came back to the real life

I went through death
But I am miraculously back
I was 19 years old about....
That was in 2005

I got a scare...19cm on my skin
Just in the stomach and intestins area...
I suffered from this
But that was the only way to cure my injuries...
In that time I was depressed...
None couldn't understand me...
Going through death early...
Can be destroying...your selfestime

Amazingly I called her...before...
Now I won't call her at all

But now...I am alive...
Sometimes stress by driving a car...
I forgot to tell you...
My death come from a young driver....
On a bridge...at night the 20th december...
I passed my holidays at hospital...

That was the worse nightmare ever...!

No more aviaible

Just get enough of what you do to me
Let me alone
I will travel
I will do my life
Alone

Just get enough of what you do to me
Is that real love or fake?
Is that real love or fake?
Don't dare telling me its true
I can't bear it
I can't...

I am no more available
To do such game
With you!

Travellers

We are all travellers
On the road of the life
We choose what we want
And some come without planning it

We are all travellers
On the road of the life
We share the way with some people and friends
We are taking part of humanity

We are all travellers
On the road of the life
We are all the same : Dust
And we come back to dust
If we don't choose what we want to do
What is the purpose of life?
What is the purpose of life?

To go through like a travel
Said my old friend
With some crossings
Our choices are the way we are separated
Our choices can be weise or fool
The only thing is you have to take your reponsability
Only live your life fully
Beeing happy
Don't forget where do you come from
And what are your values
And your travel will be archieve easily
In peace!

Eastside coast of the River Moon

I wander on its river
Wondering why
You never told me the truth
But my heart stay strong
Hoping better days
And wound my heart as I can

I forgot the childhood
I forgot feelings
In the eastside coast of the River Moon

There are many ways leading to the light
But I am for instance full of sad emotions
I miss this thrilling when my eyes encountered yours
And I don't hope to have it again
People say that first love is the most important
But now I feel I need to remember to you
Without fears or regrets
You were the best thing which can happened
To strenghend me

 I now walk my way
On the eastside coast of the River Moon

Back to black ( ;) RIP Miss A Winehouse!)

Back of black make up
And black mind
I can't go through anymore
Maybe something will let me change

Back to black
Missing energy
Missing positivity
That don't mean
I am dark minded
Black is the color of my refuge
When all goes wrong by me
When come a lack of energy

Back to my real me
With too much sensitivity

That become an ever ending why

 Savages-city's full (good UK music!)

I am seaching you
Shouting I love you
But you don't call me back

What is the way
I should take to find you
Should I wait you nor?

I am walking
And seaching the way to forget
That Love wounded me 

Perhap's you'll be the only one
On my road that I can trust

But you are just in my dream
And that become an ever ending why
And that become an ever ending why

Small dedication

When I see your art
I feel something magic
No words can say
What you create

The need to say that
No writter can express
That brush or pencil can describe
Your Frida
Your Marylin...

I want to dedicate you this post
From Europe while you are in US
When you hands create wonderfull paintings and drawings

I am lost in your creative world when I see your art
As when I was young I just saw my mum painting
I feel better as I dream
Behind your drawings
And that why I write you
This...

To Lleana
(I ever love looking at your work!)

http://chica1665.blogspot.fr/2013/05/frida-and-twiggy.html

Dark darker darkest

Dark darker darkest
My heart is touched
But My face smile
I say I am fine
To not loose my mind

Dark darker darkest
Heartbreak is not easy way going
I try to hide my darkest face
My pale face in reality
My darkest thoughts
My tears
My sorrows
My loneliness
Under this bed of roses
In our love's grabe

Like a love song

Like a love song
Of Ms Paradis

Like a love song
Of Ms Paradis
I am feeling free
Like au paradis
I don't care
You are not coming yet
So I will wait you

Like a love song
Of Ms Paradis
I walk on the street
And dance under the rain
I get a smile on my face

Like a love song
Of Ms Paradis
I seach you in my soften dreams
I hope and believe
I will find you somewhere

Love Song Vanessa Paradis

Doorway Vanessa Paradis

Since 14 years your friendship...goes strong

 

 

To my dear friend Moon

I grew up but when I heear this song I am ever feel 12

You recommanded me the prince of egypte cartoon

and I know you love this song

A SPECIAL DEDICATION TO YOU MY OLD SISTER <3

I hope your life be blessed and I can't wait to see you this summer

Missing youuuuuuuuuu!

I saw that movie when I was young 

I met a friend who advice me to go to see that cartoon in theater

I did it with my father

I loved it as I know the all story of Moses

It was also the first animated movie with computer

That was in 1998 (god I was about 12)

Now we get 3D movie

To me its the last movie half drawn half computered!

A kind of piece of art...which shine from the middle age compared to 3D.

My second homeland

My second homeland
Is different as the first one
By the language spoken there
By the landscapes and region
By the weather which most colder

In my second homeland
We can find wonderfull friends
Wonderfull dished and beers
Wonderfull shops we can find in my homeland

When I say I want to settle there
My friends look at me like dummies
Why? say everyone
When you love a foreign country
You want to forget yours
To acclimate and live
Without home sickness
You feel yourself like a stranger
But do your best to be integrate
That is what we call flexibility

I will be back in my second home land
Very soon

Trees in flower

I walk till this part of the garden
Where there are trees in flower

I remembered the time
When we stay together
In Spring
Under them

Now I know that all is vanity...
Love can be fake
Love can be betrayed

But I want nor hoping
That someone will replace you
One day
Under this trees in flower

oh happy day

After all that 2090 views and 209 post my blog turn one year old hehee Created the 28th March 2012. (I am late ...I know!)

Working hard to write in English and that is now an habit that I don't want to let down.
I dunno if I can follow in the next months I got an internship in Germany (in september I hope!) but I hope I can have internet where I will live...

Haiku

Orient's dreaming

Silently riching the coast

With peace in the heart

Half away Half way

Halfway empty
Halfway full

My thinking go ever to you
But I musn't remember
That can bring me back my wounds

Halfway empty
Halfway full

Half away
Half way in
Half way you

Lost...
Lost...

Eachtime
Eachtime I think of you
My soul are sad
Because none replace you


(The heart can betray you...till you realize that love is not for instance on your way! To you my dearest friend S. we are fighting together! I LuV UUU! )

Love come Love go

I miss you
but what can I do?

You are in my dreams
But what can I do?

Love come
Love go
Till the right one will appear

I miss you
and I see friends married

Sometimes I want to give up
Love won't come!
That is what I say
When I am sad
Even I hid it to my friends

I miss you
But what can I do?

Sometimes I can't write
I have only sad feelings
Because

I miss you
But what can I do?

Believe or...?

Believe when nothing happen
Believe when you surrender
Believe or....?

Believe to not let die
Believe to fight
Believe to stay alive

Haiku

The soften wind
The light shining on the see
The desire to be free

You are gone

You are gone
Drawing a colorfull sky somewhere else

You are gone
And till now none has replaced you in my heart

You are gone
And till now my heartbreak was not ended
My heart is half away wounded

You belongs to someone else
So I let you go

As song describe you inner feelings

 

foreigner- I want to know what love is

I want to love you endlessly

You have just to happen in my life

Remember

Remember
The first time I met you
Remember
This postit I gave you

Remember
The good time we got together

Even you come back home
My heart will stay full of our memories


Remember
That friendship as no fronteer


(To Chen <3)

Happily time

Ever she got sorrows
But he let her smile
Its a touch of color
In her gray sky

She is an artist
He is her lover

Nothing can disturb
This happily time indeed
Beeing together
Bring much more comfort
Much more peace

Nothing can disturb
This happily time indeed
They love eachother
Like none else do

Inner peace

I finally let you go
Without any fears
I forgot all about your death
I forgot all what happend
Till I realized you are gone

I am your futur
This one you couldn't do
I pass time to remember
What you teach me in silence
The will to be a woman
The will to go ahead

I am now resting in peace
After the struggling that your death let me

I will ever think about your garden
The godlfishes and the trees
I will ever remember
That house made by grand pa'
All my child and teenagehood memories
Floatting in the air...

I have no regret at all
Because you gave me so much things

I know now I feel inner peace

(Rest in Peace grand ma all what you gave me stay in my heart!)

Killing is now in the crowd (after Boston's bombing)

Do we forge the past
The war

Killing
Now is in the crowd

The life can't be safe
We don't  understand
We are horrified

Killing
Now is in the crowd

Just thinking about those
Who are weeping
While this people are hidding somewhere
What inhuman behaviors
Why these humans can be alive
While some children will loose they leggs or life

Killing
Now is in the crowd 

Spring

Spring
Leaf and green
Flowers outside

Small showers
make going the butterflies

Spring
Warm days
Happiness to go outside
To wear open shoes
To enjoying the sun

Sunset with my friends

Just blue red and yellow
To my good fellows

(watercolor made by myself
mum what a good idea you've got to give me brush when I was four ^^
get better :s i hate but you  get flu today <3 ILU)

Pasion/passion

I can't explain how my heart is in fire
Every night
Every day
I think to you

I think your arms around my chest
And hear your voice saying I love you

Your soft move make me fly
My eyes get lights
When I meet you
I never feel the same
Till you are gone

Passion is no more

Summer 2002-2013

The beach
The body board
Summer 2002
Sunset in South-west France
Between the pines forest and the see

I remember how brown I could be
I remember camping
I remember ... Bayonne
I remember Spain vetanas

Summer 2013

I will remember
And maybe find you

Cash and an art gallery

I hear J. Cash thinking about what I can do in some couple of weeks after my masterwork. Maybe making more posts. Just seach someone to realize some drawing.
When I just see the drawing of some artists ...I just say my words can discribe their work if they don't draw just faces x) that can be more suitable ...but let see x)

Piece of Cash x) yeas no money Lol about Johnny Cash the singer ahha :)

(to lleana : here is Cash about like Elvis when he sing ^^ I dedicate you the song I hope you'll get time to hear it )

Just hear that pearl it is a masterpiece!

Some thoughts....of friends

Sadness to be farway from you
Sadness to stay without your warm love
Sadness to be alone
Because I need you

Sadness to weep without a shoulder
Sadness because of the distance

But when come a letter in my mail box
A mail or a sms I know you think of me
And I thank Jah to have wonderfull friend <3

The valley

The valley extend itself behind me. I am lost but I don't care. I wander and dream at the same time.
I dream about a new life where peace can have place, when I can breath and forget everything.
Taking a breath,
Getting a smile
Feeling free

I can imagine this valley, the eyes shut I am in USA with my horse and my bag!

A time

A
   Time
          To get slowly

A
   Time
         To get a smile

A
   Time
         To forget


A
  Time
        To realize something great!

Packing to a new way

Packing my bag
Leave my friends
Leave my town
Leave my land

Packing my life
Leaving the memories
Leaving tears and old time

Packing to get a new way
Without regrets
With a smile
To discover people
And new towns
There...
In that land that I consider like my second Land
That we call G.E.R.M.A.N.Y

(thoughts to my sue and my friends in germany)

Hidding behind my wall

I am proud you discover me
Like I am in reality
I never get that chance to tell the truth like this
I am so sensitive
And sometimes nervous
Angious
But couragous
Because the life gave me some lessons
I never get that sounds a kind of
"I am ever fine"
No no
It is not me
I don't care my mind is free
Even the life is not easy
Because I got tears
Because I have had to battle

I feel me like a warrior
but before all was hidding behind the wall
Of my resistance
And when I met the death
I realize that I have had to live my life
To choose what I will do later
To tell what I am
Even people was scared about
That was just like telling help

I ever write to not hidde all things
Because the results made me like I am

I won't be hidding behind my wall
Of my fears
Of my proudness

(get enough to hide myself...!)

Writting in another way

Writting in another way
Because tears are the ground of my art

Writting in another way
Because I miss you

Writting in another way
To remember YOU

My past is gone
My future will be

Writting in another way
To stay alive while you are gone
To stay strong when sadness come
To express myself against my pain

I can't forget...........

Hard to stay strong

Hard to not falling down
Hard to stay strong

Hard to find joy when a heart is sad
Hard to say the truth
Hard to manage things without anger

Hard to not falling down
Hard to stay strong

Hard to remember
Hard to get a mind clearer
Hard to express
Hard to find a way
Hard to realize

Hard to not falling down
Hard to stay strong
When sadness go around!


Hard and Strong Alice Russell

Look at me like a man!

You are the first one to see me like that

I am not what you think 

 I say it right against YOU

Maybe I am a stranger

But it is not because I am black 

I am seaching a better life 

And your land is to me like paradize

Don't look my color 

Don't stay blind

 See my wealthiness in my culture

My destress to be farway from home

My will to be integrated

Just don't look at me as stranger

But look at me like a man!

 Don't presume I will take your job

Or that I will invide you!

Don't presume

I am poor 

Because my heart is wealthy

My heart bring the sun in your world

Don't have pride when you meet me

Please look me like a man!

Chrisalis ever become butterfly

Chrisalis ever become butterfly
I am the proof of this

I was young
And I get older and older
I change my mind each time
I get one year

Chrisalis ever become butterfly
I feel me sad to leave my best years behind me
But I don't worry about the futur

I forget that was before
Empty of fears of yesterday

Chrisalis ever become butterfly
Now I feel me like a woman
I am proud and happy
To live my life
I won't be a chrisalis anymore

Yelling behind the heaven!

Why should we carry on
After the emptiness
That the death left

Why should we battle
Against the uselessness

Tell me why old and young
We have the same feelings
That death is not fair

I just want a square of peace
To cry and make nothing
More than remembering
Before beeing back
In the life

I just want to yell behind the heaven
I just want to go and let go

Why is it so hard
To make that processing

Why the date the month
Are telling you the truth

Why the events of others
Make you almost cry too

Why should we be strong
When we are just human
To yell behind the heaven!

Walking

Walking
Walking to
Walking to think
Walking to think of
Walking to think of you

I never met you
I won't go so fast
I want to travel
I want to see the world
I am just the lonesome cowgirl
I don't care about what they think

Walking
Walking to
Walking to think
Walking to think of
Walking to think of you


I care about my freedom
I am happy to live
I am happy to travel
When you will come
It will be the right time
To stop myself
And to share love life and good wine
With you

Peace

Peace,
When you can find the way
Peace,
When you can let you hear without beeing juged

Peace,
When you can say hello or goodbye
Peace,
When you let go

Peace
When you can say
I did it

Peace
When you don't battle

Peace
When a friend make you a confidence

Peace

P
E
A
C
E

P
  E
    A
      C
        E                                                                              ....PEACE PEACE where are you path?

Just

Just time to smile
Just time to build
Just time to remember
Just time to get peace

I missed them

I missed them
But the life and the death are cruel
And they passed away
As build myself as woman
They were my roots
They were the image of the eternal love
They were the pillars of my familly

I even survive
After sadness and tears
I ever say
I want make them happy
I want to archieve my goals

I want to archieve my goals
And I won't regret anything

The true me

Sometimes I feel people miss something from me
In my inner, I feel weird things sometimes
That none can understand

The true me
Is the one who can fight to archieve goals
Is the one who are fighting against the life

Sometimes I feel that I am farway from this world
None can understand when people suffer
When people pass near the death and survive

The true me
Is the one who can fight to archieve goals
Is the one who are fighting against the life

Sometimes I feel so unconfident
Even I try to accept the stress
I just gamble my futur
My life
But I don't realise that near me
Are my friends
Those who can know where I am not fine


The true me
Is the one who can fight to archieve goals
Is the one who are fighting against the life

Sometimes tears come
When I am sad
And I take a pen to just express myself
I know some can read in me like in a book
I have made a promise when they are gone
I want to realize what she couldn't do
I know its fool

The true me
Wish just quiet days
Peace and smile
But only God can give it to me

Plenty of surprises

I am woman
Full of surprises

I am a woman
Full of surprises
And I am happy
Not to hide myself too much
To surprise you

I can be dynamic and funny
Full of surprises hidding
When I want to protect myself

I can take the way
To meet you on my way
I can make surprises
Even my eyes cry
I am ever full of dreams
I got enough to think all in black

I am not 2* years old
I am not unsual
I am only me

Love is all Keedz

 To VF professor at SODILANG' plenty of energy is that weird?? ;)

Little story...

I never remember where I met you
I just remember what you do to me

I am dreaming you are nor with me
I am dreaming that we share a lot together

I can't remember when I met you
I just remember what you did to me

I just think of you
I just want you
But ....
The life was made to destroy
A love story

I remember when I met you
And what you did to me

I was in love
That was at primaryschool
I were just 10

Something difficult to say

The weeping woman of Picasso

When I was at primary school I discovered that painting of Picasso. I can't remember what age I got but I felt understood. I was dealing with a huge school problem and nor now I can't solve it. 

The design is really great and Picasso stay the best painters among the cubists according to me...these last few days I felt me really sad ...like this painting express...all pain and sorrows...are hard to dealing with...I just try to hide all to myself and the others...(what is not pretty good when you suffer...) So I haven't write a lot...feelings so up and down... that create  unsecurity...and I can't imagine nothing when I am unsecure...that made me that few years ago when I lost someone I cherish the most... 

I hope just to be better asap because my second semester will begin next week and I will have a lot to do .... :(

My town...in pictures part2

This is the part of the university where I study. What a beautiful location near the river not farway of the quater that well call plum' in reference to its name plumereau. I have check my schedule but we have change of room so we won't have this time the right to look at the river :( what a pity...

that will be only to two months about but...when we were tired we look at the river because we have had huge windows with direct view on it... 

But we will .... as usual...we are flexibals :) 

My town... in pictures part 1

The town where I live (Tours) is crossing by two rivers and we have four bridges to go through. This one is near my university. The Loire river is full of water at that time ...it wasn't the case two years ago...I am happy it goes full of water to spring and summertime.

I work nor with shadows....trying to catch the nonfixed thing what is shadow.

That was last wenesday I took this pictures...after two days under my cover because I felt so tired...