Pressured

The light increase
The emotions decrease
Chest tears
Short breath
Too much stressed say my doc'

I feel today pressured
I want to let flow this anger
Due to contrarieties

I feel discomfort
I don't know how to say
It is uselessness
Which ever knock at my door

I have had to let go some friends
Some dreams some idialistic thoughts

I feel dying inside
I hope I can hold on one more year
In the chaos of myself

Dark outside
Don't mean you are depressed all time

I just want a solution asap
I am tired and nerdy to wait
So black cloth let me be comfortable
And quiet

I am serendipitious

Serendipity
Words I didn't know till I realize it is my way of thinking!

Routine

I am in a routine. I dunno how to break it life don't give me opportunities so I do my best. I am in a way where I can wait surprise...I just meet new and old friends recently. I was knocked by the life but I faced it several times so one more time...becoming usual by me.

At that time I just feel sad ...I want to let everything go...or finding my way because for instance :-\ I need to find balance to go ahead...

I am only in smog ...what to do or what project could I do...maybe tired tired to remember my dreams my goals I want to set me free of my bad ideas about myself this useless feelings I want to find my happiness...I want to meet wonderful people...

asking why

Asking why
Without ending

Feel stress but get a smile
To hide everything

Asking why
Time goes so slow
Why I feel too empty

Asking why
I am at home this winter
And not abroad

Asking why I am bored
Even I try to get a full schedule

And why I ask why

dark mind again

Shall I count to someone?
Shall I hope in vain?
Shall I weep ?

My mind is full of my fears
The deepest
The strongest

I am bad
I am dark
But I am me
Hypersensitive

My words flows
My thoughts are ignored

I try to stop all
Saying I don't thave to think so
But it is hard to be backward

Christmas crowd

Walking in this Christmas Crowd
Feel surrounded by people
Feel the move
Feel the smile
Feel the happiness
To be none
Lost

Walking in the Christmas Crowd
In a ocean of nothing
No personality
No self
No thing

Only me in a crowd during a Christmas Saturday
In my town

What you will leave me!

There are things we don't forget
It is memories when some storms come info life

Friends are moving
I have to remember that
Friends are living
It is ever so as far as I remember
I was joyful to know you
But as all my friends you move abroad

I will cherish the memories you will let me
Craziness smile help to people
Your sacrifice's spirit

And the gift you gave me
Your friendship


Safe flight home Lyn...see you next year if god wants!

Fight

Let it fly
Fly to the sky
Forget
Fight

What happens will make you stronger
Let your mind be in peace
Let bad dreams away

Smile
Hope

Let your reality be your fight
Everything has an end

Don't think about death
Otherwise you will be sad

Let your journey go where it has to go
Be patient
Nothing isn't endless

Maybe you will wait for something greater
Maybe you don't imagine that right now

Be only yourself
And the rest will come

I write this day with that superb opening soundtrack from elizabeth the golden age strings emphasize very movement of this master piece enjoy!

Bad feelings

I can't breath either beeing quiet
I feel me weird
I hope I try to smile
But I only want to cry
My stomachpain increase

I try to travel
In such peaceful place
I use to imagine
A place near the sea
A place without stress or bad time
A place where all can be possible
And different of now

No I just dream
Here now it isn't possible
I get bitterness inside me
A crazy feeling of beeing not valuable

I just cry why?

Coping with anxiety

Two huge black hands destroy my chest
Is what I feel when I am too anxious
My short breath ring inside me
I feel unquiet and I only get tears
I think about death

I feel like having no place in this world
Next year I don't know what I will do
I want to say it
To say it loudly in a crowd
To say that I am fighting

People say I have the will to do things
People say they love me
But I am sure of anything
I just sight right now

I dream to be abroad
To live my life as a single woman
I hope not feeling useless too much time
I that drive me crazy
If I have to grave my dreams
That is why I am so sad

A real friend

I will miss this friend
Of the other corner of the world
It is like a real loss

We don't speak the same l language
But we communicate with our heart
A eye check
A smile
A real complicity
A bound

She was there only for a few time
Mid December she'll be back home

I think why Suriname is far of Europe
Why should I already let go my new friend
But nothing is really lost
It is just an habit

I really need a shoulder
I really need a friend
To hold on
Right by my side

Having good friends

I am refresh when my friends smile and share with me
Deep inside I feel real comfort
I hope more strongly

That refresh me to see them happy
Even I know there are faraway from me
I realize how my simple life is wealthy

I rejoice in the lord to live on these earth
Even sometimes I am struggling

Thank you God to give me such thing !