Questionning

Dark ocean
Blue tears

Letting go the sadness in fond of my heart

Painting the white canevas
Of colorful thinking
But

Why ow why my heart are you too heavy?
Why I feel alone in the crowd?
Why should have been so?
Why feel I deep inside me hell thinking back?

I want to stop everything
But these thoughts come back
Insisted
Ring at the door

Ow why god am I so sensitive?
Why think I to death while I love and live my life?
Why that weird feelings are back yet?

I will ever fight
Till a rainbow come
Till my tears dry up
Life goes on

...

It is like ache
Painful
Its hurt like chaire cut
Its hurt like crazy

I feel it deep inside me
It is like a hurt
A scare which not heald

Even words can't explain what I feel
At that time I want to be somewhere else
But I can't
I let some going
I hope just they won't forget me

Romantic hope

The dawn is beautiful
Like my melancholia
The ruins behind me
Let me feel free

I search a place
Where I used to be
To comfort my painful heart

I see the see
Not fairway
The quiet trees
On the cemetery

I find peace some hours
Will it ever be so?
My heart is heavy
Like a grey stone
My hands are cold
I feel me small and useless
I want to die
But something don't let me do this
It is HOPE

Walking near the river

(Here is what I call love song. Love lead people to death. It is only a creation ok!)

I walk near the river
Thinking of you
I never told you
I loved you
Now you are gone

I walk near the river
And see my fears
Beeing reality

I'm gone to the river
People will cry and weep
You let me such bitter feeling
To be nothing

At that beautiful morning
A walker found me dead
Your heart remember me well
But I have ceased to live

Praying

Praying you
Is curing my soul
I feel understanding
And answer when I need
O Jah

You see my heart my feelings
I know you can't let me go such thing
It is only my heart which suffer too much
I am sinner a simple human living in a weaked world
Save me from my bad feelings help me to not let them deep inside me

Let me be secure with you
Let me rejoice in you
Let me find my way to happiness
Let me forget bad things that used to be in the past
Erase from my heart all my worries
And let me go far from what I expect

Bad time again

No words
Weirds feelings
Just lost in the midst of nowhere
Loosing all my dreams

Dark is my heart
When it is fate and pride to say
I am alright with smile

Stop me before I go sofar
Don't fear what I say

Its just a weird time
Where sensitivity explode
Where I feel Not real myself
I am only in a nightmare

Daily violence

I heard him crying through the walls
It was after his woman
Some weeks ago I already heard him yelling
But this time that was worse
He probably beat her

I saw her in the entrance one day
So sad and really thin
Like I never saw her before
I was also feelings the violence of his words
And thought about his small daughter

I only hear daily violence
But that beat me
Some say its just words
Sometimes words do worse than a punch
I felt sad to her
I saw her much happier single as now
I hope it can cease to her

This is what I live today from my flat I hear yelling from the first floor my neighbours... I UNDERSTAND THE NIGHTMARRE some women live daily!

Talented

Talented you said

Ow no my dear friend I am not
I try to find balance in writing my thoughts

Talented mean nothing without work and pleasure
Writing slowly enlarge myself
I now use English
I didn't do that before

Talent come from creativity and openmind soul
Nothing more
Nothing less

Talented
Isn't a word I use often
Because I prefer to stay humble

at a crossing

At a crossing I met my friends
I was crying
I used to say that I felt useless

At a crossing during my journey
I met wonderful people
Who are ever connected with me

When I felt alone I met someone new
My world are enlarge by the experience of the others
My thoughts are different
I get satisfaction to be one citizen of this earth
I welcome your difference easily
And want to see your qualities
Dear friend
You are the next one to cross my road
I thanks god everyday to take care of me
As He take care of you



To my Surinamese friend M. ♥

My journey

Sky in September 2013, France

I walk in between
Joy and sadness
I cross the road of marvelous people
I use word to express myself
I don't feel a kind of poet
I only be me
I hope dream believe
I pray god
I feel without saying
I am sensitive
And try to accept it myself as a gift

In these journey that is life
I felt emptiness that I couldn't say
My body said stop
I use to let go my beloved one
My grandmas
My dreams
But I survive with the courage
To only follow the way of this journey
Which began 26 year ago

My peace

Soften peace
Hearing pavane from Fauré
Just get the envy to paint
Remember him...
Thinking of  better days
Hoping of good things appearing
Reading a good book
Enjoy a good great tea cup
That is the way to feel peace
My peace

Call after peace

I call her in the dark
Where are you?
Where are you?
No answer

I find peace
Of mind
Of thoughts
Peace only peace

Iam in the dark
Waiting something better
Hoping something new

I call peace
Peace of joy
Peace of living a happily life

I call her in the dark
Where are you?
Where are you?
No answer yet maybe later

circles

Get tears  on my eyes
Tired of nothing
Hidding me under smile
Telling the truth to my friends
Some are fearing
Some are understanding

My feelings are so deep
That I get tears which seems like circles

I freely express myself
But sometimes it so hard to explain
In another way
I just say help me by hard words

Just hear please my voice
Surrounded by my words
Wrote in here




I beg pardon to some friends I didn't meant to die it is only my way to call to get help

Dark reality

I wanna die because I feel useless
You can't understand what I feel deep inside
I feel emptiness and uselessness
None comforted me

I dream to be in a landscape
Painted by C. Friedrich
Surrounded by ruins near a cimetery and Forrest
In a blue dress as in the 19th century
Somehow a romantic place
To let my sorrows flying in the air
To find a kind of peace

But that doesn't exists
In these dark reality

It is not good to dream too much