Nothing else to do just let the life lead you where there are opportunities. Keep smiling stop dreaming let the routine surround you. Taking time to reflect to accept the reality as it is. Turn your back to the things you loved even that means to get a strong reliance. Not fight anymore, nothing else, no play, no dreams, nothing...
Only you walking on the borders river of the Loire in a kind of smog...smog in our mind and the feelings you have no will anymore. You have called ...maybe in the desert ....because you have no perspectives. You try to turn up the light...is that what you want dear me? Is thtat what you really want? All is messed up now...hard to get self reliance...maybe you reader can understand what I mean...or?
Now my body say yes you get reliance to such things....only by getting tears. God create it to help us to express what we can't express with words. I only fight against depression it is probably depression I think we have in life almost once that feelings deep feelings to get no values in some situations...I can't tell you why maybe because I feel me so disgusting and search solutions which aren't in reality...even I am courageous sometimes I feel life hope from me too much as I can give...in time strengh ...
Maybe you think reading me...that I am crazy to think so but facing the reality its is too hard without help...real help maybe the only one who can help me is up invisible and observe me suffering...and always answer me..!! So he will...doing it for sure....only to that I can believe getting faith....
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