something wrong

A long time ago I could smile and enjoy the life. Now it is different. Is it wisdom of years past to grow or just my way to seem quiet?

I searched perfection... I find nightmares. I fall in deep anxiousness...and don't wanna talk to none what happen. I am nomore acting but only observing. What I feel is that some of my friends understand a half of what I live but it is already something.

I just guess why I can't eat and sleep properly. All contrarieties block me and stomach ache increase. I try to calm me walking and going to parks seeing people moving. And sometimes I write my feelings only to stay alive!

I just realize something is wrong in my inner side. I wanna move ahead...but something block me. I have to discover what.

We use the world wide known DEPRESSION word maybe it is time to me to say it is by me so! I hope than my words will save someone elsewhere to fight!