To you

Dear sweet heart,

(you will recognize yourself)

I miss you like a fool and now I saw your distress I am a bit afraid because I am far from you
and I also live nor now a nightmare.

You know when we talk about self-confidence or assurance concerning some people you have bad reactions. I got and will get my own I just take more distance with that past events. I knew that was a crush nothing else. Surely I won't find that man...I prepare to stay alone you know.

I am sure you just get half a way the same heartache as me. Now I recognize I am better alone. I am just on the way like my grand ma who married around 30 of age. I got tears when I read you first because you miss me but also because you need me. I understand you my dear and want to hug you. I cannot afford a ticket to germany but believe me I miss that country I miss you.

Actually I found me like a real speck of dust and feel that depression come harder and faster than before. I am not sure what to do concerning Job and so on. That made me mad to know you in pain so far from me...God how I understand you and at the same time I trust you. You will past that with sucess as I did. Remember only to stay strong and enduring to me. Love is a physical and psychical matter. You will go through...I thought that was sold out but no that wasn't and I hope you will do as you can to handel it. Remember to not hate him for that it is his choice not yours. I hope to never met them for my part as I could hardly cry after that. (I do thank God that I am 'english' now I miss them the other time and felt quite released). We have to ahead thinking we deserve someone else. Never loose hope ok?

We don't really heal completely of an heartache but We can go ahead even it is not easy. Believe me it is the best way to handel it.

So my dear sweet friend...I am with you so far but near your heart. I understand you my dear and I will pray that you can handel it without my presence.

Be a stronghead.

I love you

your A.

ps: you deserve someone who can be like my brother and you will find him soon or later.