No shame to be depressed

Today I feel very upset...my doctor don't think I make a real depression. She said it was only a fact of body which don't tolerate gluten. I reacted strongly...and said okay then it last  at least 8 months...why don't she tell me that earlier.
I was sad and angry...this time I wanna fight and the only professional I trust...let me down.

I realized a few days before that was real depression...saying this...all said not really...getting the best treatment isn't easy. I also feel that in my mind many issues from the past cross into like things that wasn't solve. But people who lived things in my family are dead. I am not ashame I wanna be better I wanna go through...to make my life. My family get also changes and I put all my forces in the battle to go ahead as well all my family members. I failed...I wanna make the process differently...

I am deliberately smiling and saying all okay...even some of my close friend don't know...what I really feel inside me. Only some can understand and I am thankful that I met and trust this wonderful people.

I read that some people get the same symptoms as me...I was pretty ennoyed at the beginning...but I assume it now. I am convinced I can win...the time to adjust will be very long...I know I can't help myself alone. It isn't the best time as I just go to the labor agency...as I am jobless.

But I also put that in God's hands. The almighty will help me as he did by the past...somehow I just get a bad time in my life...

I also look out the resilience word and find very interesting that writting is a very good things to do to recover slowly and to become more resilient!! As its part of my hobby I will follow this. I have almost 3 works in process and this blog... Believe me or not ...I will finish all! Just a matter of time!

So time to breath and solve the matter as I can.

I just say "no shame to be depressed" because we can go through!


Small thoughts to C.ML and to S.M who help me as I try to get it step by step!