Collapsing

I feel a deep sad ache
I don't know where it come from
Just a hard time

But I feel my heart bit
I wanna cry
I wanna shout
I wanna punch my wall

I feel angry
To miss some friend
I feel sad and messy
I am strong outside
Inside my world has collapsed many time

I search a way to express
This innermost violence

Sometimes I think I wanna dye
But the life tell me the contrary

I dream of an ailleur
Where no ache and pain exist
Is that real ?
Am I alive?
Yeas the pain is here
Not faraway from my heart