A small conversation (beginning)

I were by a friend in a small cottage enjoying a trip as I was deeply depressed. My friend argued I needed the fresh air on the countryside instead the one of London. I didn't reprove his words.

That was on that wet morning where the dew took place in the fields and where the autumn light was fabulous that I have this talk with him. That wasn't a bad talk only a heart to heart conversation of two very good friends. I was surprised he began this talk as he isn't talkative.

-You have to move ...
-What for? This rocking chair is the most comfortable things I have had to dream.
-Please consider you are....
-You are what...ill depression is a normal response to not normal situations you know what I really think already. You think like the other then already in London all try to give an hand and felt by having surch commentary to me. (I were walking as I stand up angry) You think I have not enough ressource and enough power...oh god...you are not supposed to be like others...no you are indeed. What mess you are the only one I can trust. I tried to fix things on but failed what alternatives did I get since then?
-None. I am sorry.
-You are like normal lad...I have to realise none can do things for me...I am really tired....and I think about unbearable things....you can't hear it right if only death can bring me down....no fears no anger again. I guess if I count to people...yeas or no?
 -To me you count
-Yeas I can imagine the world so devasted by my loss but I suffer too much only things are bitterness and pain I feel definetly sad the anxiousness eat me slowly....step by step...
(I opened the window that let me go directly in the garden where a small table and two chairs where lying)
You know if I can tell you all the truth you cannot bear it. I guess how to tell people about that...only my pain remain harder than when I were by me in London. My tabacco is missing me as well as my librairy...I forget my notebook...to write things down. I need comfort...love and happiness. Is that too much?
-To the notebook I can do something to your comfort I will do my best to the rest dear I can't be useful. I just see you destroy yourself with a kind a shameful feeling and helplessness.
-I just wish to desapear for a moment. I got too much strong feelings that I can't explain easily. Contemplating death wasn't a so good thing.
-I have good wine from France and this noon we will make good cheers...don't worry too much my dear fellow maybe you'll find you own strength again. Let me take care of you.

He didn't realise I was earnest. I took a good walk in the wood before our lunch. Its duration was around one hour but that didn't distract me of my depressed thoughts. I wished something happened to me as this instant. But the calm of the forest remain till I was back to the cottage I felt so dizzy and numb in a weird in between.

Romantic poem 10

I know I will pain you
I want to die among the nature
I will miss you
I have no luck for nothing
So I recall my thoughts
Walking in the forest
Writting neaby a 300 year old tree
I guess he has seen many things
He grew up in a parc I know
I feel comfort under it
He probably met peole of the 19th century
And met the arabian prince
Who gave him a ceadar as neighbor
He also have seen maybe parties in the manor nearby
And the beautifull dresses of these Madams

He will also see my tears in a warm day of spring
How my heart weighth and aches
He will see my writting
The only thing that let me live
And one day someone else will enjoy his presence
Because I won't be there
I will be free

Romantic poem 9

I thought that giving up was good
But I realize-
As the nature stay quiet
And rest in winter-
That hope remain in small things
That even pain life is worthy to be lived

A ray of light can let you be brave
A blowing wind in the leaves can quiet an anxious mind
A motion of the nature soften bad feelings

I thought I wanted to leave so many time
Feeling worthless and useless
But I live
And am made to fight

Romantic poem 8

The sun wake up
And my soul get pain
My tears flowed at night
Like the sky is cloudy and wet
My hope and expectation are fading away
My heart want to pass away
But I prefer to smile to you
I feel fresh air on my skin
I hear singing birds
But I feel empty
Nothing is truthworthy
Only the pain remain

Should I fight or die?
Should I dream or write?

Only my thoughts remain like a scream
Which is nerver ending
In the silence of pages

Romantic poem 7

Fall is coming
With the tumbling leaves
I don't want to see winter
I don't want to see snow
I want to dream nearby trees in spring
I want to find the light
When my heart don't
I want to feel love
When I think about death
But these things are not allowed to me

Romantic poem 6

The life has made me
As I am

Fragile
A warrior
An old sister
A friend

Asking under the moon
Who'll be there for me
Raging to fail again
Walking in the ruins of dreams
Trying to give to others
that I don't have

Romantic poem 5

I never thought to find you
I wandered
Cold hands and heart
Behind these graving stones
I felt calm
I forget my gloves somewhere
The crows are good keepers of secrets

I walked so often here
Dead cannot give comfort
My pain letted my heart heavy
And you ravished it
You gave me comfort
You hug me when my tears came down
You are here where I want to give up
You take my cold hands
And give me your warm gloves
And we came back hom