Pressured

The light increase
The emotions decrease
Chest tears
Short breath
Too much stressed say my doc'

I feel today pressured
I want to let flow this anger
Due to contrarieties

I feel discomfort
I don't know how to say
It is uselessness
Which ever knock at my door

I have had to let go some friends
Some dreams some idialistic thoughts

I feel dying inside
I hope I can hold on one more year
In the chaos of myself

Dark outside
Don't mean you are depressed all time

I just want a solution asap
I am tired and nerdy to wait
So black cloth let me be comfortable
And quiet

I am serendipitious

Serendipity
Words I didn't know till I realize it is my way of thinking!

Routine

I am in a routine. I dunno how to break it life don't give me opportunities so I do my best. I am in a way where I can wait surprise...I just meet new and old friends recently. I was knocked by the life but I faced it several times so one more time...becoming usual by me.

At that time I just feel sad ...I want to let everything go...or finding my way because for instance :-\ I need to find balance to go ahead...

I am only in smog ...what to do or what project could I do...maybe tired tired to remember my dreams my goals I want to set me free of my bad ideas about myself this useless feelings I want to find my happiness...I want to meet wonderful people...

asking why

Asking why
Without ending

Feel stress but get a smile
To hide everything

Asking why
Time goes so slow
Why I feel too empty

Asking why
I am at home this winter
And not abroad

Asking why I am bored
Even I try to get a full schedule

And why I ask why

dark mind again

Shall I count to someone?
Shall I hope in vain?
Shall I weep ?

My mind is full of my fears
The deepest
The strongest

I am bad
I am dark
But I am me
Hypersensitive

My words flows
My thoughts are ignored

I try to stop all
Saying I don't thave to think so
But it is hard to be backward

Christmas crowd

Walking in this Christmas Crowd
Feel surrounded by people
Feel the move
Feel the smile
Feel the happiness
To be none
Lost

Walking in the Christmas Crowd
In a ocean of nothing
No personality
No self
No thing

Only me in a crowd during a Christmas Saturday
In my town

What you will leave me!

There are things we don't forget
It is memories when some storms come info life

Friends are moving
I have to remember that
Friends are living
It is ever so as far as I remember
I was joyful to know you
But as all my friends you move abroad

I will cherish the memories you will let me
Craziness smile help to people
Your sacrifice's spirit

And the gift you gave me
Your friendship


Safe flight home Lyn...see you next year if god wants!