I dream to have moments of peace some farway
The rythm of this life is dead inside me
The time kill my will
This is an endless turmoil
How is it hard to hang on
Only those who know can understand
My life incomplete has no purpose
Without Pen and Paper
I am safe as a looner
I can resouce every cells of my body
By putting words on lines
To open up my mind to new dream
People just see what you give them to see
But they don't imagine what happened to you
You have to explain your old demons too
Those you wanted to ignore
But who are back to let you support
All that the life bring you
You sometimes thought of death
Without saying it
Because all could be afraid to what can happen next
Nor now you retain to express
Your deep sorrows and pains
People didn't understand
The depth you get
Eachtime it is the same things
You feel that you are not accuratly made for this world
Hopefully you have good friends
And you realize that they are afraid
But they care
You feel a bit guilty and at the same time that reassure you
It is maybe just a struggle or a bad time
Do they have to care like that?
Do they understand your old demons inside?
That is what you think when they told you things
Like I feel helpless I don't know to help you
Sometimes you prefer retired
Just for a while
People think you will surfer in silence
But you don't want to break them
With your old demons hidding inside
I imagine all possibles
Even in the dark
I want to fight for
What I find good to me
I won't let go my luck I won't spend time for worthless things
I just thought that my power reside in my heart
And my strenght within my deepest soul
I feel the life is worth riding
Even we take walls
If we have to move mountains
I am a strong head person
Sometimes I needed rest
Sometimes I needed time to recenter myself
To get smooth experiences instead of harshness
I am strong enough
I will conquer my own destiny
I will loose my sad coat
As light come higher in the sky
My motivation is back
Even my confidence is not good enough
I want to try it another way
I miss you like a fool and now I saw your distress I am a bit afraid because I am far from you
and I also live nor now a nightmare.
You know when we talk about self-confidence or assurance concerning some people you have bad reactions. I got and will get my own I just take more distance with that past events. I knew that was a crush nothing else. Surely I won't find that man...I prepare to stay alone you know.
I am sure you just get half a way the same heartache as me. Now I recognize I am better alone. I am just on the way like my grand ma who married around 30 of age. I got tears when I read you first because you miss me but also because you need me. I understand you my dear and want to hug you. I cannot afford a ticket to germany but believe me I miss that country I miss you.
Actually I found me like a real speck of dust and feel that depression come harder and faster than before. I am not sure what to do concerning Job and so on. That made me mad to know you in pain so far from me...God how I understand you and at the same time I trust you. You will past that with sucess as I did. Remember only to stay strong and enduring to me. Love is a physical and psychical matter. You will go through...I thought that was sold out but no that wasn't and I hope you will do as you can to handel it. Remember to not hate him for that it is his choice not yours. I hope to never met them for my part as I could hardly cry after that. (I do thank God that I am 'english' now I miss them the other time and felt quite released). We have to ahead thinking we deserve someone else. Never loose hope ok?
We don't really heal completely of an heartache but We can go ahead even it is not easy. Believe me it is the best way to handel it.
So my dear sweet friend...I am with you so far but near your heart. I understand you my dear and I will pray that you can handel it without my presence.
Be a stronghead.
I love you
your A.
ps: you deserve someone who can be like my brother and you will find him soon or later.
Running running baby far from home
Taking your hand in mine
Running running baby to hope
Running running as a movement of freedom
Beeing back at the time
Where I was different
Where my mind wanted to fight
Running running baby far from home
In countries In foreign lands
Let us be happy
Let me understand slowly
That everywhere we go
We are stronger
we are stronger than death
