Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Starter: Alice Langton Fisher character

A good wine glass in hand hearing music behind a fire on a couch among books and notebook under a warm blanket was a delight.

That was one of these unproductive evenings where rest was essential. She needed that stay in UK to be like a break in her crazy life. A good rest in your real home kind of feeling made her comfortable. Her US life wasn't her liking from time to time. Her roots stayed Uknians and will always be. 

US life was more of a youth's adventure that made her grow into the woman she is today. It ain't regrets but assumed choices. It opened her some opportunities that she never expected as a young woman in her 20.

Living in US is more related to her to hard work and daily life than pleasures leasures and spare time for her. 

Among the books around her, where the whole work of a certain Lord Byron, some chosen pieces of Keats or Percy Shelley.
Her Notebooks are more like sketchbooks where a few words are written but are vividly depicted in white and black drawings.

Time to breath and take care of herself in her Villa where all started where life was holding by a thread at times where all her 20's were made where she chose to be a detective rather than a legal doctor.

All that sumerized in this house this old temple of life experiences. It could have been a place of representation of parties of social moves but it is reserved for her American life. L. A. is the best place to do that. UK is the place of the innermost secrets of the family and old memories.

In one word her two sides reunited as one. 

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Sometimes it is like this panic attack strikes



Brocken heart
Heavy thoughts
You try to not overthink
But all is as it were before

Again and again
It comes back and forth
Before sleeping
You feel you chest in pain
Your breath get faster
You get a panic attack again

All the sudden
You feel you won't pass the night
Your try to find your sleep back
It is not possible right now
The sudden coming is unbearable
Like you didn't expect that

In the morning you woke up
The next day with a whole body aching
You think alright then lets face it
You struggle with evrything
Even with your thoughts

You realize all is hidden
You realize you are alone with that
You realize you are like a warrior
Fierce and strong under hardship

Days passed







Days passed
But the situation remain
No pain
No gain

Days past
But the light went out of your eyes
after so much cries
and the relentless overthinking strikes again

Days passed
And the summer will come at an end
The cold days will follow
It will be all the same

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Choices



I hear so many things
And choose to analyze their words
At times I say not for me
I am not really agree

They can juge me
They can say I reply angrily
Well my happy me
Remember they don't know you

Your values are hidden in the back of your mind
Singleness vs married
Choices vs limits

What I know is that
I have change focus
I have change my mind
I have embrace my flaws
I have just said things
And they don't seems to understand

Well they dare to say you never go out with them
You think if I have to say all the time the same things
And dismiss my way of thinking no way GIRL

I am who I am
Weak fragile
Strong fierce
All is hidden thats all
I have more inside that out
And you miss all of that


Work of summer 2017: extract 5 of "writing by prompts"




I remember

I remember when we walked together in the wheat fields
I remember when you told me I love you
I remember your slight look searching mine in the crowd
But will it end now?

I remember your hand in mine
I remember the soft intimacy
But I feel I slightly loose you
And all what I feel is why?

Work of summer 2017: extract 1 of "writing by prompts"




What is the texture of Hope

Hope is soft like velvet
Hope is smoothing and mending

It gives courage when you are weak
It helps keeping your head up

Hope is soft like velvet
Purple like a old coat I got
Black like my very old vest full of holes

It remembers me when I was young and innocent
And the years gone by

Work of summer: extract 17 of "power of the insider"




I walk as a loner
My inner power make me feel stronger
I defy the world by writing
And time will come when I will be doing
Smile at me
But it isn't the good time
To talk to me about positivity
I reach better days
Don't ennoy me that way
Keep silent and smile for me

I walk as a loner
And I know the reasons
Don't defy my inner power
You could be surprised

Work of summer: extract 6 of "power of the insider"




Blowing skyscrapers
In my imagination
My inner strength has to be revived
My anger has to slow down

The color of a sunset
Invade my body and soul
And that sentence find in me an echo
Something good will happen to me soon
Something good will happen to me soon

The lights of the streets at night
Are giving me the direction
Go through this tunnel more and more
I dream and dream more and more
Forgetting all this mess
Repeating something good will happen to me

Work of summer 2017: extract 23 of "grey papers"





What does really matter?
If you feel darkness inside
Where will you be later?
In the midst of the ocean
You would have drown

Only a few people were there for you

What does really matter?
Wherever you look there is terror
The world collapse and as well people within
You feel like you don't belong to the crowd moving

But you go ahead
You go ahead

Work of summer 2017: extract 9 of "grey papers"



I wish you to understand me plainly
Not just looking at my surface
But deep inside

I wish you to have insight
To take time to know people better

I wish you can do good things
To upbuild people

I wish you to move and change everyday
To not feel limited

Work of summer 2017: Extract 21 of "Soft Power"



The wind's noises
On a fresh morning
Just a time to daydream

Is that this soft power again?

In your vains run the ocean
Your face is like the blue of a britonnic beach
You are the magnificent one
Because nothing is more powerful
That calling the soft power
The daydreamer inside you

Work of summer 2017: Extract 5 of "soft power"



I am just here for you
A good ear or soft words
Do it to you

Let me heal your brockenheart
Let me fix your anxieties till next time

Let me bring you softness
To your hurting soul
Till when would you cry alone?

Let me heal your brockenheart
Let me fix your anxieties till next time


Work of summer 2017: extract 23 of "Pulse project"






My hand search my pulse
I want to feel alive
You know this small beat that mean a lot

On this shore looking at some boats that go away
That pulse beating calmly

Who knows where I will go soon
That pulse lead me far

It is just my essence that speak
Through this life's pulse

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Work of summer 2017: extract 19 from "Life of 7 project"

Mount Lee-Hollywood sign-LA USA


(introverted people you will find yourself in this one)

 Colors of sunset
In the bay
Early night 
People prepare to party
You admire nature
You will read a bit
Before sleeping
They drink too much
Forgetting their life

You will meditate early morning
On that beach
Behind a sunrise
You will enjoy a time to write
You say keep it simple enjoy life

You are not like their crowd
You are a peaceful archiever
 

Work of summer 2017: extract 8 from "Life of 7 project"


 Life of 7-We are all


I fell asleep deeply
And in my dreams
Scattered like stars in the sky
There is the feeling of being home
To feel happy despite the storms

7 hopes for 7 hours
7 dreams for 7 days
7 feelings for 7 years

Whatever the fears
I stand firm
Whatever the obstacles
I stand firm

Whatever what other think
I stand firm
For the light come
To those who are in darkness


(happy to be back here after a long break!!)

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Some Words are not enough




Some words are not enough
Some words are not enough

Pain is too intense
Anger is eating inner self

What can I do?

I try to control all that mess
But I am really able and ready

Should I let flow my emotions good or bad?

Should I let you see my weakness?

Nothing matter anymore

Just staying alive?
Just surviving?

What for?


Monday, December 19, 2016

Where would I be without you?



Sometimes I want to desappear
I am drowing dear
Pain too deep

Where would I be without you?

Sometimes I want to smile
But my heart is heavy like a stone
I am in an in between zone

Too hard
Want to give up
 But you are here
Remembering you care

Where would I be without you?
I don't know 


Thanks to be here mom ILY <3

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Poem to my american lil sis


I don't want to loose her
You too
She smile but I know she battle
I cried with her
My...so long time I didn't shed tears with someone

I don't know how you do
To see her come and go to hospital
Lil sis stay strong
She need us to smile and keep fighting

She sometimes say me you get bad time at work
I know it must be intence for you4
You have only one it is her
That raised you up and kept you warm
When you were in bed ill

She is your role model
She is your north
Your confident

It is not blood that create that
It is affection
The deep love a mother give
She wrap me with good words
She miss me as if I met her already
I met her by accident online
As I felt alone
You see my scares are in my head

She connected with me
Her affection has open my heart fully
I accepted to say what bother me

What I want to remember from her
It is her smile and faith
that one day we'll meet again
In a peaceful world free of illness

I don't know if I will do it before...

So please stay yourself
Tell her I love you each and everyday
Before it is too late


To J H-B hey you ...stay strong

Live traces here




I need to live traces here
I need to tell you what I feel
I get overwhelmed by anything

Just stayed all the afternoon under cover
To bear the  unbearable
Nights past to dream bad dreams
Feelings up and downs that...
Yeah I feel dysfonctional some days
I feel so sad when all come back like that pain

I let some words go it is better than nothing
Let out what all is bothering me 

Some don't care
Others do
For those who do
I will go through
I promise you

Friday, September 30, 2016

Last one of September

C'est la mort-The civil wars


Words on pages
The last poem of September

The 30th

What should it say?

9th day of Fall

Nor several to reach winter

Nor years of writing

Each time September end
There are new projects and beginnings

Last poem must celebrate it
Isn't it?